“My name is Helen, and I am the mother of three wonderful boys ages 13, 11, and 4 years. They are my world, and although as a single mother they sometimes test my nerves, I couldn’t live without them.
“I was born and raised in Botswana. My mother came to Canada in 2007 as a refugee and worked towards having my sister and I follow, but it took several years. When I arrived in Canada in 2012, I already had my two eldest boys, who were very young at the time.
“Although I was grateful to be in Canada, my boys and I were sheltered in a local hotel for a while, and I was reduced to doing laundry in the bathtub. With no access to cooking facilities, we relied most of the time on fast-food, which was expensive and not healthy for my growing boys.
“We eventually moved to Ottawa Community Housing in the Caldwell area. I took ESL (English as a Second Language) classes and studied to become a PSW (Personal Support Worker). I want to work to support myself and my children. With the high cost of day-care and other living expenses, I needed to reach out to the Caldwell Family Centre Food Bank and Clothing Depot for help. Thanks to the generosity of people like you, my boys and I were able to move away from a fast-food diet and obtain healthy food I can cook.
“Unfortunately, due to health issues I was not able to continue to work as a PSW, so am currently unemployed and looking for a job. I make constant use of the Computer Café at the Family Centre. Although I own a small used computer, the kids need it to keep up with their schoolwork.
“I would like to go back to school and become an ECE (Early Child Educator), but in the meantime I am giving back by volunteering at the Caldwell Family Centre.”
Angelina grew up as one of seven children in an upper-middle class family. Unfortunately, her mother died when she was only 2 years old, and her eldest sister sacrificed her chances at a higher education to help their father.
After obtaining her bachelor’s degree in Economics and Social Studies in her home country, Angelina followed her husband to Canada.
Although she spoke some English when she arrived, she enrolled in classes at Algonquin College to improve her language skills.
After her husband abandoned, Angelina took classes in Early Childhood Education at Algonquin and found employment with a local school board.
Unfortunately, after suffering a broken leg and an operation to insert several pins to hold the bones together, she was unable to work.
Since she had no income and was unable to walk, the Caldwell Family Centre stepped in to deliver food to her door.
Once Angelina was on her feet again, she volunteered at the Family Centre.
She also visited the Family Centre’s Computer Café to create a resume and apply for jobs.
“I cannot say enough wonderful things about the caring staff at the Family Centre who helped me with my resume, job search, and completing online forms” Angelina told us.
“The time and care they take to help people navigate the different systems to find suitable housing, apply for benefits, or assist with a job search is incredible.”Angelina has since found temporary job to support and is continuing her education by taking online courses. Her dream is to one day have a small childcare centre where low-income parents can safely leave their children while they work.
Sadia* and her 11-year-old son Rafi*, the bravest young man I have met, are originally from Bangladesh and are lucky to have escaped with their lives.
Sadia was forced to marry her husband, a police officer in the town, right out of high school and wasn’t allowed to gain higher education, or to work outside the home. When Rafi was only 8 years old, his father found another woman and wanted a divorce. Sadia, who didn’t have any means to support herself or their son refused at first, which was when the beatings started. Since her husband had borrowed money from her family, Sadia tried to make a deal – pay the money back and she would grant him a divorce. More beatings followed. And since her husband was a police officer she couldn’t report the beatings as the police have a lot of power in that country.
When Rafi was 9 years old he couldn’t stand seeing his mother beaten any more, so he picked up a bat and started hitting his father back. His father, being bigger and stronger, was able to grab the bat and then beat both Rafi and Sadia. That night Sadia and Rafi were able to sneak out of the house and seek medical attention from a doctor they knew. Had they sought help at a hospital her husband would soon find out. Thanks to relatives in the diplomatic corps, they were able to stay for a short time in a diplomatic hotel before fleeing the country. With little money borrowed from family members, Sadia and Rafi traveled through several different countries before landing in Canada.
Rafi, who learnt a little English in school in Bangladesh, now speaks it very well and is often called on to translate for his mother. Sadia is taking English classes in the mornings, and volunteers at the Caldwell Family Centre in the afternoon as a way of giving back while improving her language skills. She is also gaining confidence and Canadian references she can use to secure employment.
Lisa* became a grandmother at the age of 36 while still raising two teens as a single mother on a low-income. Her 16‑year‑old daughter had to dropped out of high school until Lisa’s grandchild was born.
Lisa grew up in the Caldwell area and dreamt of a different life for her children. She attended the after-school programs at the Family Centre so that her mom, who was also a single parent, could work late. Lisa enjoyed the field trips at the free summer camps, where she learnt about distant places.
Lisa’s life changed as a child when she was suddenly taken to a foster home in another city while her siblings stayed in foster care in Ottawa. When she was 14 years old, she found herself living in bad circumstances and was returned to Ottawa to live in the Caldwell area again, with yet another new foster family.
At age 19 Lisa gave birth to her son, and at age 20 she gave birth to her daughter. Their father disappeared from the picture.
Lisa has worked hard to provide a good homelife for her children and struggles to put meals on the table, keep them clothed, and to keep them interested in school. She wants to do all the things responsible parents do as their family grows. And now she cares for her grandchild so that her daughter can finish high school.
As a single mom living on a low-income, Lisa says “I must make some really difficult decisions for my two teens and choose between food for the family or diapers for the baby. I eat my breakfasts and lunches at the Family Centre to ensure there will be food at home for the kids. And I visit the Baby Depot at the Family Centre for baby food and diapers to help me make it to the end of each month”.
*Name has been changed to protect the children’s privacy
My name is Oke* and I would like to tell you a little about myself and my circumstances, and how the Caldwell Family Centre has helped my family.
I was born and raised in Nigeria and graduated university with a degree in Computer Science. I had a good management job in local government. Our difficulties started just after I give birth to my third daughter.
While the birth of a child is a happy event in my family, the birth of yet another girl was not seen as a reason for celebration in my husband’s family as they value male children over female children – a belief that my husband does not share. My in-laws began a campaign to force my husband to divorce me so that he could marry another woman and have a son. They were also adamant my daughters would be circumcised (FGM) – a belief that my family does not share having known girls who died from infection after having this unnecessary procedure.
Their relentless eight-year campaign consisted of nasty bullying and harassment, escalating to beating me in front of my children when my husband was not there to protect us. My husband tried everything he could to get his family to stop, but to no avail.
The situation became unbearable, so my daughters and I moved to a different city. However, my husband’s brother found us and the bullying and harassment continued. When a friend I had not seen for a while came to visit, I embraced her as a way of welcome. This small gesture that under normal circumstances is commonplace, made the situation worse. My husband’s relatives accused me of being a lesbian, which in Nigeria could mean a jail sentence, or being beaten to death in the streets.
I was terrified for my daughters and myself, so my husband and I decided that I should take the girls and leave Nigeria and we choose Canada. Unfortunately, my husband was not granted permission to come to Canada and had to stay behind.
With little money and no affordable housing available, we were housed temporarily at a hotel. We were not able to bring many of our belongings from Nigeria, and the hotel room only had a microwave for cooking. Not a very comfortable situation to live in with three growing girls, but we were extremely grateful just to be safe.
Another family staying at the same hotel told me about programs and services at the Caldwell Family Centre. I am so grateful for the staff at the Family Centre who provided us with food, my daughters with school supplies, and found warm clothing for us at the Clothing Depot.
After a short time at the hotel, I found a part-time job and I was able to find housing I could afford. I also volunteer at the Family Centre as a way of giving back and helping others who find themselves in similar circumstances. I am grateful that my two younger daughters, now 9 and 11, were able to make friends and stay busy during the summer thanks the summer camp at the Family Centre. And I am grateful that my eldest daughter now 13, was able to volunteer at the summer camp. This not only increased her self-confidence but provided her with experience she can use on her resume when she is ready to find a paying job.
Thanks to my part-time job we are not as dependent on the Family Centre for food and other supplies that we once were. I am also currently taking French lessons so that I can find a fulltime job to better support my daughters. My girls and I are hopeful that my husband will soon be able to join us in Canada and find gainful employment.
Without the support of the Caldwell Family Centre we could not have made it this far.
*Name has been changed to protect the children’s privacy